Value of Family

“When the Bible paints the picture of the happiest men on Earth with the most far-reaching impact on history, it does so in the context of family life, meal time, and the blessing of children (Psalm 127, 128). . . . Sometimes the most important thing happening in the world is the couple deciding to adopt a baby, or the child honoring his mother, or the daughter repenting to her father. Sometimes it is a little boy who waits patiently down the road for his daddy to return form work so that he can simply hold the hand of the most important man in his life. These are the moments that really matter – the ones that will count in eternity. They are the everyday victories of the Christian life that will one day fill the heart of the old man with joy as he looks back on a life well spent. That is why, when the world has passed away, and the trends of this present culture are long since forgotten, those simple acts of love, done in the name of Christ and for His sake by a mother to her child, or a brother for his sister, will retain value with the saints in eternity.”

Douglas W. Phillips, The Little Boy Down the Road: Short Stories & Essays on the Beauty of Family Life (xxi-xxii)
.

Psalm Singing and Sanctification

I mentioned previously that my family has begun to sing Psalm 128 at our dinner table. It has been very enjoyable and a great blessing in various ways. We have begun including other psalms.

Recently, we ate dinner at a fast food restaurant in order to go on to a store for some errands. I did not think of or mention the singing of the psalm. As we drove from the restaurant to the store, one of my boys asked, “Daddy, since we could not sing our psalm in the restaurant, can we sing it while we’re in the car?” You better believe we can! If a small step on my part can lead to my 11 or 12 year old asking to seize a moment to sing scripture together, let me take that step!

Then, our singing of Psalm 128 has had an unexpected sanctifying influence on me. The children enjoy the song so I can often hear them singing it lightly as they go about their tasks in the home. I hear them singing “Bless the man who fears Jehovah and that walketh in his ways” and the rest of the Psalm which expounds the benefits which will come to them as their father fears and obeys God. These truths, in the voice of my 12 year old boy who is entering into manhood or my two year old daughter (or anyone in between), has a sobering effect on me. It leads easily to preaching to myself along these lines:

These children will know specific blessings from God as you fight sin, truly fearing God and obeying him. This sin which tempts you is no mere personal matter. It has implications for these little ones as well. Will you be this man about whom they sing? Will you by grace live in such a way as to bring down the blessing of God upon them?

These are truths I already know, but they come home in special force this way. This has been a good reminder to me not to be spiritually lazy, but to cry out to God for his grace to be a godly man.

Baucham, What He Must Be

Vodie Baucham has a new book focused on a father’s role in deciding who can marry his daughter- What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter. This role is important, and I hear of more and more fathers who are taking this seriously. However, most of us have not seen this done, so good examples and thoughtful reflection are at a premium. Baucham’s book aims to give us such reflection.

One of the challenges, which I see often in my work as college professor and pastor, is that many well meaning young men have never been taught what it means to be a man and are not ready to lead a family. Baucham mentions this stating:

“We cannot expect young men in our culture to turn up as ready-made husbands. Our culture is broken. As a result, young men are broken. They do not have the tools they need. This is not always due to a lack of spiritual commitment. It is usually a result of a lack of teaching and discipleship. They just don’t know what they don’t know. As a result, fathers have to consider the possibility that they may, in a very real way, have to build their own son-in-law.”

This is true. I recently had a good conversation with Douglas Bond on this very point. I was encouraged hearing how when a young man comes inquiring about his daughter he takes it as an opportunity for discipleship- not just saying “No”, when that is necessary, but showing young men what they are lacking and how to mature.

I am looking forward to reading Baucham’s book. I have no doubt it will be substantive and helpful. Baucham is a leading voice helping the church thinking more carefully about the family.

Fatherlessness

I have been thinking a good bit recently about the problem of fatherlessness in our churches. In crisis after crisis I discover that one root has been the absence of a father in someone’s life- through absence, neglect, or abuse. I have seen enough of this that it has made me all the more earnest in fathering my own children, and it has made me begin to think how the church can address this pain in the lives of our people. It is not accidental that the commandment which marks the shift from dealing directly with God (1-4) to commands dealing with our interaction with other people (6-10) calls for the honoring of parents. As marriage is to portray Christ and the church, so fathers provide the earliest portrayal of God the Father.

While thinking on this, I came across James Grant’s post commending Doug Wilson’s review of The Shack. Wilson’s review is very helpful, both in being aware of this book and in diagnosing this key problem- fatherlessness- in evangelicalism. It is well worth reading.

The Spiritual Home

I have commented a number of times on D. A. Carson’s book about his father, Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor. In the most recent Crossway book report Dr. Carson was interviewed about the book and he commented on the value of growing up in a home where his pastor father was faithful and consistent. In the interview he stated:

“I’d be the first to insist that modeling Christian virtues, not least in the home, is of paramount importance. The worst sort of home to be brought up in is the one where spiritual pretensions are high and performance is low; the best sort of home is the one where spiritual pretensions are low and performance is high. That was the kind of home in which I was reared.”

This is a good reminder to anyone particularly us pastors.

Pastor Daddy

Last week at my children’s literature blog I commented on a new book titled, Pastor Daddy. This book is an excellent tool for leading the men in our churches to take seriously their responsibility to lead their families spiritually. I comment further at the other blog and give ordering information. May the Lord use this little book to be a great blessing to many churches.

Resource for Fathers

I am convinced that one key thing for pastors to do is to encourage fathers to take up their proper role of shepherding their families, discipling their children, etc. This is so foreign in our typical context but is clear in the Scripture as well as in the history of the church. Reclaiming this role of fathers is essential for achieving health in the church. This is a big subject, but my point here is simply to introduce a book that will be helpful in encouraging fathers in this direction. This is not a book that directly speaks to fathers on this issue. Rather it is a book that fathers can read to their children, particularly sons.

I am referring to the Crown and Covenant Series published by P&R. I have posted a review of the first volume in this trilogy over at my blog on children’s books. I will not repeat the review here, but simply suggest that these would be great books for pastors to urge the fathers in their churches to read to their sons. Sons will enjoy it and fathers, if they even barely pay attention, will be encouraged and convicted by the father in the book. The father in the stories, Sandy M’Kethe, takes seriously his role in discipling his children, leading his family, teaching them in word and example, etc. If you can encourage your fathers to read these books to their sons, you will accomplish much. Simply reading to their children is one good thing. Secondly, as they enjoy time together they will see a good example. Third, as the story wrestles with significant theological issues you may get them thinking on such topics as well.

Lastly, the books are best suited for children no younger than six. They are actually aimed children even a bit older than that. The review can guide you further.